we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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