That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
