the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
