great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
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Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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