Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
