Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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