Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
