He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
