Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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