im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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