My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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