So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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