Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
