I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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