its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
