Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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