Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so let's talk penis.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
