I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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