my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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