he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
