I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
