Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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