Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
