dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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