his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
