So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
