I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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