So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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