i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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