they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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