Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize