she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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