oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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