Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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