god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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