JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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