I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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