my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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