I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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