nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
