I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
