Need sex. Gaining weight.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
