sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
