he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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