I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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