He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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