CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
