and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize