i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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