You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
