I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
