awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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