I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
