Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize