I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
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I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
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I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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