Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
