worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
