Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just googled if crying burns calories
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
