some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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