playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
