i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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