They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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