I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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