There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just pee around me
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
