I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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