It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
